IN or OUT?

While walking home I pondered on the idea of leaving the country for greener pastures. This has not been an overnight decision, nor its going to be an immediate one. Its not like I'm leaving anytime soon..still got a wedding to attend to =) but the fact of the matter is, the country is in bad shape, the government is in bad shape, and if nothing happens that will better the situation then I think its pack up and head for the hills, or Canada, or wherever.

What made me decide to open the doors to the opportunity abroad is our own country. They rant that we are loosing nurses, skilled workers, doctors and blame them for not being so patriotic like there's still something to be patriotic about. I don't mean to sound so leftist, but the plight of the country is enough for the ordinary Juan to say "tang-ina naman oh..".

I just had a conversation with my fiance about our future. Is it IN or OUT? Countless times we have been talking about leaving the country, then staying becasue we have a good job with a sensible pay and good benefits. But will this be enough for us when we finally get married and have kids and start a family? I mean if the prices of oil and gas and goods increase by the millisecond, will our salaries be enough to still have that simple life we always wanted? One thing we are afraid of when leaving the country is the life that we will live. A very good friend of mine is now a successful expat in dubai. He's one of the lucky few who, just in the nick of time, grabbed the opportunity and then settled in on a good position. They said (he's with his girlfriend) that their lives were not a walk in the park, but rather a journey into a madhouse. They had to endure trials and tribulations, the real OFW life, but now after all those hoops along the way they finally got where they wanted to be.

I dont know if I could do that. Well maybe I could, but, is this the plan God has drawn out for me?for us? We alwasy wanted the simple life. Not too many complications, just a normal, simple, cntented life. We could see that our lives will be that way, up until the oil and rice "phenomenon". I mean maybe there is a problem, MAYBE there is shortage, MAYBE the government is finally (and unbelievably) correct in their claims. But, maybe they're not. Who knows. Nobody does.

Juan dela Cruz is left to nod and agree and say "nanaman..."

Im digressing...

Right now I'm left with utter confusion. Should we leave, should we stay. Should we wait for the solution, or create one. We will keep the option abroad open, for now.

Wherever God wants us to be..

Amen.

I HATE COMPUTER VIRUSES

Well in the first place...who loves them anyway? Im currently suffering from one, I cant seem to find it though..all night I have been running all sorts of anti-viruses, anti-malwares, anti-rootkits, anti-spyware, anti-BACTERIAL!!!!

...still theres something wrong with my pc..it shuts down whenever i install a program, OR, whenever i use the command prompt..Im gonna have to reformat it AGAIN..damn you Bill Gates for monopolizing the market and inspiring anti-Microsoft hackers to continually rampaging on your OS..hail LINUX...

I think Im going to switch..either that or have my pc run by MAC OS..lesser worries..virus wise though..

anyhow...

Im rambling on..

trying to alleviate my suffering I stumbled upon a website (http://www.bsd.org/new.virii.html)which made me laugh despite the rage I am currently experiencing...

Here's a list of the new computer viruses that are continuously terrorizing our motherland..I mean motherboards....well not really but sana they would name their viruses this way...hehehe..

OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS: Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands back to 200MB.

AT&T VIRUS: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.

MCI VIRUS: Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus.

PAUL REVERE VIRUS: This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It warns you of impending hard disk attack---once if by LAN, twice if by C:>.

POLITICALLY CORRECT VIRUS: Never calls itself a "virus", but instead refers to itself as an "electronic microorganism."

RIGHT TO LIFE VIRUS: Won't allow you to delete a file, regardless of how old it is. If you attempt to erase a file, it requires you to first see a counselor about possible alternatives.

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.

GOVERNMENT ECONOMIST VIRUS: Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine (i think i have this kind of virus...lets call it the ARROYO VIRUS...)

FEDERAL BUREAUCRAT VIRUS: Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of your computer. (ohhh..sounds like RED TAPE VIRUS to me...)

ADAM AND EVE VIRUS: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.

CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS: The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.

AIRLINE VIRUS: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.

FREUDIAN VIRUS: Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own motherboard.

PBS VIRUS: Your programs stop every few minutes to ask for money.

ELVIS VIRUS: Your computer gets fat, slow and lazy, then self destructs; only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations across rural America.

NIKE VIRUS: Just does it.

SEARS VIRUS: Your data won't appear unless you buy new cables, power supply and a set of shocks.

CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS #2: Runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously, but doesn't allow the user to accomplish anything.

IMELDA MARCOS VIRUS: Sings you a song (slightly off key) on boot up, then subtracts money from your Quicken account and spends it all on expensive shoes it purchases through Prodigy. (who would have thought?thats how popular Imelda Marcos is, in a very humiliating way..)

STAR TREK VIRUS: Invades your system in places where no virus has gone before!

HEALTH CARE VIRUS: Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong, and sends you a bill for $4,500.

GEORGE BUSH VIRUS: It starts by boldly stating, "Read my docs....No new files!" on the screen. It proceeds to fill up all the free space on your hard drive with new files, then blames it on the Congressional Virus.

L.A.P.D. VIRUS: It claims it feels threatened by the other files on your PC and erases them in "self defense".

Havent we had enough already...

All throughout my adolescent life, i have been passive in reacting towards injustice and moral degradation in the government, but now since i am already experiencing the burden of taxes, the weight of rising prices of commodities, the injustices of the corporate world, my eyes grew wide open and slowly i am being immersed in the reality of the plight of the country..there was one time that i thought to myself,what if i was born earlier,lets say before the start of the anomalies on the Marcos regime, what if i was in EDSA on the 1980's, would i have been one of the many who stood up and shouted for justice? i think i would..most likely..

Everyday we are faced with injustice, everywhere we can experience the feeling of unfairness..we see corrupt and unjust people getting rich while those who do the right thing either gets imprisoned, condemned,exiled or worse murdered...I question Mr.Jun Lozada's authenticity as a witness, but 99.9% of everything in me says he is telling the truth....the .1% is just the rational side of me looking for hard evidence, i guess thats a normal human reaction..a lot has happened since GMA stood up as president of this country...Jose Pidal scandal, Hello Garci, the motive of the Oakwood mutiny, and now the ever so popular yet powerful ZTE scandal...it is a sad moment for all filipinos..nakakahiya minsan na tayong mga pilipino eh nabibili ng pera..how many Jun Lozada's, Trillaneses, De Venecia's must be needed para gumalaw tayo? if you'd ask me...the county needs only 1..YOU.

Thnks Fr Th Mmrs

One of my longest ambitions was to land a decent and stable job…not to belittle the previous job that I have had which was being a Team Leader in a call center, but what I mean is a day job, not so much a desk job but something that could give me more of a challenge intellectually than the previous profession.

Don’t get me wrong though, being a TL was hard, I had to learn along the way, having to supervise people, supervise a whole team, make sure things are done the right way, reports were made, co-worker relationship, TL to agent relationship, the whole gig was tough the first few days…weeks went by and I came to know the ropes…being a leader taught me to be more responsible, it also practiced me to further develop a proper work ethic, procrastination was not an option, and being a master procrastinator, it took me a while to adjust. (Thanks to my one and only Hope, she was the main reason why I have bettered myself...thanks love =D) The whole experience of having to start everything from nothing and learning more than what the job could offer was a blessing and a phase in my life which I could say I have grown both emotionally and intellectually.

Now I am facing a new endeavor, a bigger challenge, and an unending opportunity to broaden myself as a person, as a professional. And I could say that seed of my ambition has sprouted and is slowly gaining roots, goodbye TL hello Admission, Job Placement and Marketing Coordinator…

To God…You have been good to me and have blessed my life and everybody I hold dear…Your will be done…

To my mom…your words of wisdom have been my pillars of strength…

To my love Hope…you have been my source of inspiration…you will keep me singing a different note in which none has ever heard…I love you dearly…

And to all who have been there to criticize, underestimate and belittle my capabilities over the years…I would like to share with you some words from Joe Trohman from Fall Out Boy..”Thanks for the memories even if they weren’t so great…”

- FIN -

in sickness and in health..

I've been around the block more than once in my life..i have loved and lost..been thru all that stereotypical broken family routine but i could still say that my life doesnt suck as much as it seems..i have many friends, i have a good job, i have this dysfunctional band that i cant seem to make a continuous flow with..(due to some people who refuse to cooperate, some people got pussy whipped..ASS!!!..)..but all in all theres this one thing, or one person who made my life a liiiiiiiiiiiittle bit more sweeter when i wake up, a bit more meaningful at the end of the day..HOPE....the name fits what she is in my life...

Before i thought i would end up with this one person, and again with another..but as soon as it ends, then i could see that we weren't meant to be..love seldom blinds you from the pain and the hurt that you soon forget that you are in the loosing end of the relationship..afterwards..or should i say in between i enjoyed my being single by being free from anything..but there was something missing...i didnt long for the people i lost, its the feeling of being cared for, being loved..i missed that..coz in the past relationships i had i was in search of that, in some i didnt feel any love at all..but you know what they say that you will never know where love's ugly face is gonna show up..and in my search..it was under my nose..literally..heres the scene...

Hope was my seatmate in my previous office, she was cool, smart and not to mention gorgeous (tinuod ni hun ha)..even my bestfriend agreed..well a lot of people agreed..anyway i used to talk to her about my past, about my current conquest, about lots of stuff..but i didnt imagine that id fall for her..coz she was involved with someone at that time and as far as i knew, they were in love..but as the times rolled by i found out that i was falling for her, and she for me..we could help it..it was too powerful..and when i had my chance i dove for it...but in my mind i thought "would this be another tragic love story?" i knew it could be but i didnt give that thought a chance to run more deeply in my mind, coz after the longest time, i am in love again...so deeply that it sometimes scares me..im in the age right now where foolin around and scamin and all that jazz aint that fun anymore..life isnt just all about that..night outs, drinkin and just throwing caution to the wind..and im with someone now that i know i could be in love with forever..why you ask?here are some facts...

1.) She is an excellent conversationalist - we work together in the same office, she is my Q.A. analyst, we have our work table situated side by side, we share the same sked on work, we take the same breaks, we eat, drink, smoke, walk, talk together..and still at the end of the day we burn hours talking over the fone..and that happens EVERYDAY..now thats what i call a communicating relationship..and i never get tired of it..never..

2.) She explains things to me - sometimes this mine of mine slows down and sometimes it tops, she jumpstarts me..she has this uncanny way of explaining things to me, especially when we are in an argument, and belive me we get into arguments..and everytime we do we dont shout or try to get into a pissing off contest..latelyt when we argue, we argue like were tlaking..AND I FREAKIN LOVE THAT...finally a mature realtionship..(after all these years!!whew)

3.) She is the sweetest thing... - do i have to explain this?hmmmm..lemme try..she's sweeter that sugar coated candy cane that's dipped in milk chocolate with sprinkles on top..still she's sweeter..

4.)She is GORGEOUS - i think im not gonna expound on this..you get the picture...hahaha

5.)She has the memory of a 1 GIG flash disk - she remembers it all! and when i say all i mean all..in detail, what color of my shirt that day, what color of the shirt ot the person next to me..and i never met someone with that memory..pretty neat..hehe and last but not the least..

6.)She's my tanan-tanan-ug uban pang utanon - whenever im ina crappy mood and i curse a lot and i basta in a crappy mood she calms me down...whenever im sad she picks me up, whenever im broke she makes me unbroke (belive me she saved my life a lot of times already..) even when she's the one thats sad, or mad, or broke..she has been there for me, thru whatever..and belive me whe have been thru a lot already..

I could go on and on about what Hope means to me, but the only important thing is that i love her, and she loves me..HAPPY VALENTINES HUNNY! labuuuuu.....

How does INCUBUS do it?

i have been an incubus fan for more than what....the last 8 years and still i cant get enough of em', its their style, the off-beat time-signatured melodies, the deep poetic lyrics, the soulful movement on stage..nothing like the life of a musician eh?getting free stuff, free food, free everything..as Brandon Boyd would put it (he's the vocalist, a giveaway to those who don't share my passion) "We are getting paid to have fun.." now who wouldn't want that kind of career? you said it brotha...


i have been tracking down on their albums, listening intently on every note and lyric, and i have noticed that they never stick to one rhythm, one genre per se..yeah yeah its still good old rock but on every album they tend to shift..listen to the first album FUNGUS AMONGUS and in that album they sounded raw, yeah because it was their first album. now artist tend to commit a lot of mistakes on their first albums and then refine on the next and so on and so forth, but INCUBUS gave out a different sound, at their time..they sounded like techie sound guy meets rock meets literary genius, at their time the turntable wasn't the usual band instrument but they mixed it so damn well that it started a whole new era of rock...

couple of years after S.C.I.E.N.C.E. album came out and they sounded different now, deeper melodies, heavier riffs, more complex sound off the DJ and the not-so-surprising work of art lyrics..this time incubus sounded that they came out from a laboratory of sound and just concocted a strong dose of music serum that would create such auditory orgasm (now thats poetry ahem)...

again years after the amazing science album plus other EP's came out (when incubus attacks), the band produced yet another masterpiece, and its one of my favorite albums ever in music history, MAKE YOURSELF. Now this album rocked, the most famous song of the band entitled Pardon Me, which i know every incubus fan loves...its a classic..the way the guitar fades out and pounds in the chorus part..aaahhhh..bliss!


their next project sounded warmer, MORNING VIEW was more californian if you ask me, well they hail from the west coast so i guess its a given, the album was more emotional and had a lot of deep meanings involving the opposite-sex-attraction thingie, and there was one track i loved that sounded like it could be a background music for a japanese drama, the track was Aqueous Transmission, it had a japanese instrument used, i don't know the name and i would like to call it the japanese guitar..hehe..and that album had more love songs than any of the incubus albums i ever had

now the break-out album CROW LEFT OF THE MURDER..i was confused by the title until i knew that you call a group of crows not a flock but a murder so there you go. the songs on this album were different, maybe of course of the arrival of their new bassist (forgot the name but i know that he used to play for The Roots...) they sounded modern and stiff but they still pulled it off nicely, one song i particularly enjoyed was Southern Girl..the lyrics was so right on, so different yet so easy to relate to..

and last but not the least the arrival of their newest album LIGHT GRENADES...i heard some of the tracks and they were pretty good, and again they have a new feel to their music, still sensing remnants from the later album but they again had enough talent to figure a way to mix it up and keep it fresh..now i ask you again..how does INCUBUS do it? having had 6 LP albums and a couple of EP's, soundtracks and the like, they still manage to keep their sound fresh..maybe there are just people who are born and made for that. whats also good about them its because they have been friends for years now even before their band hit it big, they have been on this industry for more that 15 years but still they crawl out of the woodwork sounding new and unique yet familiar...its the talent, the friendship and the fun that they have that i admire..i may not live that kind of life, though if tasted a teeny bit of that being a musician myself, but i could say nothing beats the real thing...its official, I'm abducted by them..more albums!

hah!!!! i am alive!!! had the most emotional packed birthday, well it was unfortunate in so many ways..(my baby got hurt sooo bad...love yah hunny!!!) hmmmm....bt in seriousness of it all..i would just want to say a few things...*ehem*
before everything happened, we had the most amazing night, singin, laughin eatin drinkin and all that jazz...and it was a day before my birthday so we were still looking forward for a bigger bash, although plans kept on changing but the spirit of excitement lived throughout the week...on our way home we met an accident, none like it ever in history of CDO...it was there and then, i felt doomed, i thought i would die at that moment, worse?my only love of my life wasin the backseat..the pick-up that we were in swerved to eliviate a parked cab in the middle of a bride, instead of just missing the car we rammed into the steel railings of the bridge, flew into the air and crashed into the river..i was thinking, "damn if we'de die this way, what would her family say or become of this?i have so many plans for the both of us..please dont let it end now..." i then lost consciousness when we hit the river...the next thing i remember water was all around me, and im still inside the pick-up, i didnt think of anything else first but to get out because i was running out of air, i nudged and wiglled until i grabbed the door and opened it, swiftly swimming upward for air, and when i came out of the water the first thing i shouted was her name.."hopia!!!hopia!!!" then i shouted more for helped, crying and panicking and having an asthma attack at the same time..there and then....ithought i ahve lost her,i thought she was gone...my heart was breaking into pieces and i could here it shattering into pieces, i kept on shouting, thinking of her, everything about my hunny..then suddenly two men with salbabidas rescued me, i clinged on and cried and cried and kept on crying till i reached the riverbank...i still shouted her name, asking for help..and then suddenly she tapped me on my shoulder saying "hun lets go..im here.." i broke down even more in sheer delight and relief that she was ok, she was there...she was alive......

in memorial, i have never felt such pain, such helplessness, such desparation and sorrow, ultimate relief and joy...until that night...we were given a 2nd chance to love each other, maybe God was trying to tell me, or her, or the both of us something...for the Man upstairs...thank you so much for keeping me and my hunny hope alive...180 degree life changing moment ladies and gentlemen...goodnight....