I HATE COMPUTER VIRUSES

Well in the first place...who loves them anyway? Im currently suffering from one, I cant seem to find it though..all night I have been running all sorts of anti-viruses, anti-malwares, anti-rootkits, anti-spyware, anti-BACTERIAL!!!!

...still theres something wrong with my pc..it shuts down whenever i install a program, OR, whenever i use the command prompt..Im gonna have to reformat it AGAIN..damn you Bill Gates for monopolizing the market and inspiring anti-Microsoft hackers to continually rampaging on your OS..hail LINUX...

I think Im going to switch..either that or have my pc run by MAC OS..lesser worries..virus wise though..

anyhow...

Im rambling on..

trying to alleviate my suffering I stumbled upon a website (http://www.bsd.org/new.virii.html)which made me laugh despite the rage I am currently experiencing...

Here's a list of the new computer viruses that are continuously terrorizing our motherland..I mean motherboards....well not really but sana they would name their viruses this way...hehehe..

OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS: Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands back to 200MB.

AT&T VIRUS: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.

MCI VIRUS: Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus.

PAUL REVERE VIRUS: This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It warns you of impending hard disk attack---once if by LAN, twice if by C:>.

POLITICALLY CORRECT VIRUS: Never calls itself a "virus", but instead refers to itself as an "electronic microorganism."

RIGHT TO LIFE VIRUS: Won't allow you to delete a file, regardless of how old it is. If you attempt to erase a file, it requires you to first see a counselor about possible alternatives.

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.

GOVERNMENT ECONOMIST VIRUS: Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine (i think i have this kind of virus...lets call it the ARROYO VIRUS...)

FEDERAL BUREAUCRAT VIRUS: Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of your computer. (ohhh..sounds like RED TAPE VIRUS to me...)

ADAM AND EVE VIRUS: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.

CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS: The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.

AIRLINE VIRUS: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.

FREUDIAN VIRUS: Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own motherboard.

PBS VIRUS: Your programs stop every few minutes to ask for money.

ELVIS VIRUS: Your computer gets fat, slow and lazy, then self destructs; only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations across rural America.

NIKE VIRUS: Just does it.

SEARS VIRUS: Your data won't appear unless you buy new cables, power supply and a set of shocks.

CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS #2: Runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously, but doesn't allow the user to accomplish anything.

IMELDA MARCOS VIRUS: Sings you a song (slightly off key) on boot up, then subtracts money from your Quicken account and spends it all on expensive shoes it purchases through Prodigy. (who would have thought?thats how popular Imelda Marcos is, in a very humiliating way..)

STAR TREK VIRUS: Invades your system in places where no virus has gone before!

HEALTH CARE VIRUS: Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong, and sends you a bill for $4,500.

GEORGE BUSH VIRUS: It starts by boldly stating, "Read my docs....No new files!" on the screen. It proceeds to fill up all the free space on your hard drive with new files, then blames it on the Congressional Virus.

L.A.P.D. VIRUS: It claims it feels threatened by the other files on your PC and erases them in "self defense".